Well Folks. After a lot of talk, heart to hearts, and weighing all our options, we will not be pursuing moving to St Louis at this time.
I am upset, and this is not what I want, but I have come to the realization that this is not about what "I" want anymore. Its about what is best for my family. DH has turned down the job today, and I will be signing a 2 year contract with my current employer which will result in a state award that will cut my student loans by 10,000 dollars.
One consideration is money. We wouldn't come out any further ahead by moving. We wouldn't come out behind either, it would all balance out.
Another consideration is medical. Being a nurse, I have inside information as to the personalities, and workings of the hospital and clinics here. That makes me more comfortable with my prenatal care, as well as my delivery and aftercare. I already have an OB/GYN here, and I am comfortable with that. I'm not sure that now would be the time to learn a whole new medical system.
Leave is also to be considered. Here, I will have about 3 months of leave saved up by the baby's due date. There is no way that I would have enough time off to take a full 10-12 weeks of leave if I started a new job. That is really important to me. Plus, although I do not enjoy my job, it is very flexible, and I have a lot of autonomy. I can take off whenever I need to, I'm salaried, and have a state retirement/benefits package that can't be beat. DH has a lot of time saved as well, which he would not have if we started over. This was given a lot of weight in our decision.
This is so not what I had planned. I wanted to get out of small town America and experience a different side of life. A place where the town doesn't close down at 9pm. And this is not to say that it will never happen, but for now, it can't. The excitement of the city will now be replaced by the excitement of our new family member. Free time will be much less, and much different now, so the lifestyle that I had hoped to have would not be possible anyways. Time to focus on my pregnancy, and getting ourselves ready for a huge change.
So, there it is. Its the right decision for my family, and regardless of what I feel like I am losing, my family means more to me than all the possibilities of the bigger city. Here's to new life goals and different challenges. The decision to stay has been made, now its time to look forward to the new things to come.
I'm sure our journey, although not the one we had planned, with be even more exciting than the one we had planned for. Its all about perspective. And we are thrilled the the new experiences coming. Life will never be the same!
Welcome little embryo, we are doing our best to get ready for you. You are our first, and I am sure we will make plenty of mistakes, but we will learn what we need to know together. See you in the Spring :)
A week ago, ask me if we were moving. The answer would have been an immediate YES~
As me today? I am clueless. We are pretty sure that DH got that job in Clayton. But, driving 45 minutes each way back and forth to work everyday seems excessive, especially when there are banks on every block. And, the house that we fell in love with is now under contract... and I didnt see anything else that interested me.
On Monday, I found out that I was pregnant. This is ok, im settling in to the idea of parenthood. But, then that adds maturnity leave. At my current job, I have 6 weeks of sick time sitting there, waiting to be used. If I quit, I lose it. My job right now sucks, but it is flexible. And it pays enough, especially since we are not smoking (that is not that bad, really) to be able to afford our house, and all that. If I start a new job, there will be no way that I will have enough time saved up to be able to take 6 weeks off, plus have 4 weeks of vacation, plus all the comp time that I will build up between now and then.
Plus, I have my friends here, and my mom and grandma. Not that they are all that involved in my day to day life, but at least they would be here if I really need them.
Here is another bonus to staying. 10,000 dollars to pay off some of my student loans. All I have to do is sign a contract that I will continue in my current job for 2 years from the beginning of August. That would pay off my MOHELA completely, then I would only have my Wells Fargo left to pay on. I would have to commit to this job until July 31, 2009.
Im feeling lost and overwhelmed. What would you do in my shoes? I really need advice.
3 tests later, I guess there is not much doubt :)
My first OB appointment in September 18th. That seems so far away... but at that time we should be able to hear the heartbeat. That will be cool :)
Still haven't heard from Dh's interview. Still in love with that house we found.... and oh yeah.....
I'm Pregnant! Head is spinning. I'm shocked, scared, excited, and nervous all at once. Goal Number 1? Quit smoking in the next 2 weeks.
We found a house that we both love. Its in St Peters. DH's interview went well, and we are expecting to hear back by the end of this week for a second round of interviews. Exciting stuff happening!
We tried to hook up with Toad, but alas, it was not to be! My husband has now been introduced to Pizza Street. Good pizza, and cheap!
We got new cell phones. We both got Razrs. I have had fun programing all the different ring tones for different callers. My husbands ringtone is "I'm a believer" by Smashmouth. My general ring tone is American Pie. I might get tired of hearing that all the time, but I can always change it :)
So, if I have your number, so you have any requests of what your ring tone should be?
These are never good. Early this AM, my Grandpa Charlie died from a massive heart attack. He was a great man, and I wish I could have been there to say good-bye.
Today I am sad.
I couldnt sleep last night. At 12, I got up to take some tylenol PM. I could only find one. I didnt figure that would work well enough, so I took two dramamine. Oh, MY GOD. I feel so hungover today. This is not good. All of the payment, and none of the Buzzed fun. Ack!
Going to try to drag myself to the Y tonight. Don't want to, have no motivation to do so, but maybe 5 miles on the eliptical will clear out this fog. I sure hope so!
I'd kick butt at it. Yes, I am bragging, but it if revolved around top 40, or heavy airplay, I could name that tune in 3 notes Chuck!
Currently playing Matthew Sweet - Girlfriend. Love that song, but it kinda makes me sad too. I'm odd, deal with it.
Now is Def Leopard - Lets get Rocked. Must step away from the music and watch something mind numbing on tv :)
Heading back to St Charles on Friday. DH has a job interview, and then we will meet with the realtor. Wow.
Randon Lyrics of the day:
You switched the signs then you closed the blinds
You changed the channel then you changed our minds
The remainder is an unjustifiable, egotistical power struggle at the expense of the american dream, of the american dream,of the american...(A.D.D by SOAD)
We went out to see "I now pronounce you Chuck and Larry". I love love love Adam Sandler, so it was a great movie. I'm going to buy it as soon as it comes out on DVD :)
DH has been working on his resume this week. Each of his contacts needs a slight tweak, so it is taking quite a bit of time.
Friday was our 5 year wedding anniversary. We golfed (how romantic). Today, we went to Illinois to do a little shopping. I got an awesome dress at TJ Maxx that is white, with black primative flowers. It totally rocks. Not sure where I will wear it, but I thought it was a great dress.
I also got a polarizing filter for my camera, which is cool.
Toad totally came through on the photos of the house that we are looking at. Now I am super curious as to what the inside looks like. No fence in the backyard (which is something we really want), but I guess we could put that in.
Now, its a waiting game, and I hate that. I am not a patient person! Instant gratification is the "way I roll".
I'm willing to give up the YMCA membership, and Golf Course membership, being 1 mile from work, no problem. The only thing that makes me think twice is that besides college, I have never lived anywhere but here. Its my home. Fear of the great unknown.
I'm not a very social person unless I feel comfortable. The only people I really know from down south are the people I have met through Toad, and because I trust him, I feel comfortable around his friends (as evidenced by my getting hammered with no Toad in sight with Kilgore and Johnathan last weekend at the Cat's Meow). Oh, and my friend Amy (who works constantly, and is also a nurse, girl scout leader, EMT, and has beaucoup other civic duties) and, a couple "friends" from college that I very rarely speak to. Leaving my family and friends. That is my only reservation.
Hey, its only like 90 miles! Its not like I am moving to California or anything. Its getting late, I am tired, and I am starting to ramble. Are you still reading! HAHA~! I've got you in my trap now.
Cheers!
Been in contact with my awesome realtor from Chesterfield. Have been bouncing properties off him once in a while. I am hoping Toad will go do some recon for me and check out a house close to his neighborhood.
I got a 10,000 student loan repayment award in the mail today, which is both awesome, and confusing. If I take it, I have to stay at my current job for 2 more years. Kinda hard since we are planning to move. Not sure what to do. If I take it, and we move, I will have to repay it. If I don't take it, and then plans fall through I will be losing that money.
Damn! Hard decision. Not sure what to do.
Did some digging today into Charlestowne at St Charles, and New Town, St Charles. Both look nice, but then again, kinda cultish.
Found an amazing townhouse near The Venice Cafe, which looks amazing on the inside, but I am not sure that I could handle not having a yard, even though I hate yardwork.
DH is trying to work on his resume again, and send it out to more openings. Its all frustrating, and extremely exciting all at once. Housing prices are still inflated, and I am finding that it is more cost effective to look for brand new construction instead of established housing. That, and I am incredibly picky, doesnt help much.
Anyone want to let me, my husband, our two dogs, and a housefull of furniture move in with you while we househunt? Please email me if you are taking on boarders :)
Life is full of decisions. They make us who we are, and guide what we do.
Two roads, each taking different paths, yet converging at points along your continuum.
Do you want to be a train conductor? Or a passenger on the voyage?
It’s your choice, but now is the time to buy that ticket.
It’s your life. If you feel like life is fleeting, that is because it is.
In 5 years, you will be 5 years older, regardless of what you do today.
Make the jump, stare uncertainty in the eyes and spit in them,
Trying and falling on your face would be preferable to living your life with continued “what ifs”.
Do it, or don’t. Make it or move on.
Be your own gale-force wind, and don’t settle for storm clouds.
No one else is going to be your strength. You are under your own power.
Either climb the mountain, or be satisfied to live in the valley.
It’s your Call.
On the first day, God created the dog and said:
"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or
walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years."
The dog said: "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years
and I'll give you back the other ten?"
So God agreed.
On the second day, God created the monkey and said: "Entertain people, do
tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty-year life
span."
The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time
to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"
And God agreed.
On the third day, God created the cow and said: "You must go into the field
with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves, and give
milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I will give you a life span
of sixty years."
The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty
years. How about twenty and I'll give back the other forty?"
And God agreed again.
On the fourth day, God created man and said: "Eat, sleep, play, marry and
enjoy your life. For this, I'll give you twenty years."
But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the
forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog
gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"
"Okay," said God, "You asked for it."
So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play and enjoy
ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our
family. For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the
grandchildren. And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and
bark at everyone.
Life has now been explained to you.
