It's been a while since my last confession... or post, or whatever.
My first appointment with my OB is tomorrow. DH is coming with me. My nausea is a little better, not throwing up as much, just feel uneasy all the time.
I keep having all these weird feelings though.
I'm positive that this is a boy. I'm not sure why I am so positive. maybe because I want a girl so badly.
Two weeks ago, I started thinking that this is probably twins. Two boys.
I have this feeling that although tomorrow I should be measuring 9w6d that I will actually measure around 5 weeks, or there will be an empty sac, or that something terrible has happened, and I won't go to term. Granted, there is no history of any of these issues in my family, but I feel like I will be the first.
I won't be able to relax until after the ultrasound tomorrow. I want to see/hear that heart beat to prove that I really do have something growing in there. Completely neurotic and irrational, yup, thats me.
My ex's grandmother died Friday. Her visitation is tonight. She was one of my favorite patients. Normally, I go to all my patient's funerals or at least their visitations. I am not going to this one because I was told that my ex is not "allowed to talk to me". We haven't seen eachother in 9+ years. Email maybe 2-3 times a year, and this has never been an issue before. I'd like to know what happened or changed to make his wife freak out and forbid him from speaking to me. I've never had anyone not be "allowed" to talk to me, and honestly I am not handling it too well. We are adults for gods sake! At any rate, I just went by and signed her memory book prior to the family getting there, that way I still feel like I paid my respects, and didn't take a chance on causing any problems with ex's family.
I am glad that my DH trusts me enough to not be so uptight. Granted, if he told me that I wasn't "allowed" to do anything, we would have to have a serious boundary issue discussion, and there had better be a damned good reason for him to make such a request. Then, if he had good reason, I would take in under serious advisement, but I am still an adult, and would continue to do what I choose, within reason. Ask my mom, forbidding me to do anything just encourages me to pursue said activity with more drive.
Our Mutual friend Joey knows the story... however he has not seen fit to share at this time. Grrr... Why can't we all just get along?
3 comments:
I have been the same way with each pregnancy! I cannot relax until I see that little heart beating away! I think it is just part of becoming a mom, you will always worry about your little one!
Sorry about the drama with your ex. So crazy!
Hey, I just saw this -- how'd the appointment go??? I would feel very nervous too, always wanting to know that everything was ok. Don't feel weird about it! It's so funny that you want a girl, I would love a boy one of these days!
Boys make you sicker (or so I have heard!) I had hyper-emesis with mine. But it got MUCH better the second trimester-hang in their . Once you have that little baby in your ars -it is all worht it, Brandy!
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