Well Folks. After a lot of talk, heart to hearts, and weighing all our options, we will not be pursuing moving to St Louis at this time.
I am upset, and this is not what I want, but I have come to the realization that this is not about what "I" want anymore. Its about what is best for my family. DH has turned down the job today, and I will be signing a 2 year contract with my current employer which will result in a state award that will cut my student loans by 10,000 dollars.
One consideration is money. We wouldn't come out any further ahead by moving. We wouldn't come out behind either, it would all balance out.
Another consideration is medical. Being a nurse, I have inside information as to the personalities, and workings of the hospital and clinics here. That makes me more comfortable with my prenatal care, as well as my delivery and aftercare. I already have an OB/GYN here, and I am comfortable with that. I'm not sure that now would be the time to learn a whole new medical system.
Leave is also to be considered. Here, I will have about 3 months of leave saved up by the baby's due date. There is no way that I would have enough time off to take a full 10-12 weeks of leave if I started a new job. That is really important to me. Plus, although I do not enjoy my job, it is very flexible, and I have a lot of autonomy. I can take off whenever I need to, I'm salaried, and have a state retirement/benefits package that can't be beat. DH has a lot of time saved as well, which he would not have if we started over. This was given a lot of weight in our decision.
This is so not what I had planned. I wanted to get out of small town America and experience a different side of life. A place where the town doesn't close down at 9pm. And this is not to say that it will never happen, but for now, it can't. The excitement of the city will now be replaced by the excitement of our new family member. Free time will be much less, and much different now, so the lifestyle that I had hoped to have would not be possible anyways. Time to focus on my pregnancy, and getting ourselves ready for a huge change.
So, there it is. Its the right decision for my family, and regardless of what I feel like I am losing, my family means more to me than all the possibilities of the bigger city. Here's to new life goals and different challenges. The decision to stay has been made, now its time to look forward to the new things to come.
I'm sure our journey, although not the one we had planned, with be even more exciting than the one we had planned for. Its all about perspective. And we are thrilled the the new experiences coming. Life will never be the same!
Welcome little embryo, we are doing our best to get ready for you. You are our first, and I am sure we will make plenty of mistakes, but we will learn what we need to know together. See you in the Spring :)
4 comments:
Choices like this can be so difficult! I know our lives are in a totally different direction than I ever imagined. But, having said that, I wouldn't trade what I thought we wanted for what we have. Good luck in your new endeavor! BTW, how are you feeling? Hope not too badly (though those first few months can be no fun!)
Brandy well I have to say.. I am gonna miss that opportunity to hang out with you being closer to me, but you know I truly understand what you do for your family is always best. My move from California over 10 years ago is proof of that. I was pregnant when I moved to Missouri, and not knowing anyone was very difficult without all my family here.. we've since adjusted and it all worked out.. if its meant for you to come farther south then it'll happen in time.. for now.. enjoy getting used to being pregnant ! Thats a "journey" all its own.. Rain
CONGRATULATIONS!!!
You need to come visit the Sunroom and share your announcement.
In my experience, that old adage of 'when a door closes, a window opens' is SO true. Once a decision is made (as yours is), it seems a lot easier and everything somehow falls into place. Our life choices have proved that to me again and again.
When is the baby due? Congratulations again!!!
TOS
Well, it all happens for a reason, girl! No doubt it'll end up being a good decision for y'all in the end, even though part of it kinda stinks right now. I'm glad that you'll have the ability to take some time off.
Post a Comment